The needs of the many…

What are you good at?

After almost half a century of crippling self-doubt, agonising over this very question and desperately trying to overcome what a lifetime of evidence has (unwantedly) revealed, I can say with 100% certainty what I’m good at.

I’m good at being a sensitive person. No, I’m not just good at it – I excel at it.

I’m constantly concerned about how others feel and what they think of me. I’m hyper-alert to other people’s needs, usually at the expense of my own. I fret for hours, or days sometimes, when I feel like I’ve not behaved in the “perfect” manner or have made a bad impression on someone.

Living this way is exhausting, and ultimately soul destroying, as I’m living for others rather than for myself.

Being overly sensitive is very hard, and I have to work against it almost everyday. I need to lower my sensitivity to more sensible levels; something I can thankfully manage sometimes through Cognitive Behavioural Therapy (CBT) techniques.

However, despite its detrimental impacts on my life, I have accepted my sensitive nature isn’t something I should completely suppress or be critical about.

Because being sensitive isn’t a flaw. It’s a gift.

Being sensitive about what other people need keeps kindness – selflessness – alive in this world. Regardless of whether the recipient appreciates or reciprocates it, having the courage to be sensitive to others in an increasingly self-obsessed society is a character strength not a weakness.

So although I constantly need to manage my over-sensitivity, I’ve learnt to embrace my baseline sensitive nature and see it as a valuable trait within my character.

I know I’m good at it, and in moderation, it’s something to be proud of.