Try a little kindness instead

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

Many years ago, one of my work colleagues suffered a mental health crisis.

They began behaving erratically, at first wildly happy, but then – increasingly – extremely depressed.

I can’t say with certainty what triggered their crisis; only they (or a therapist) would truly know that. But I suspect a contributing factor was their isolation at work, as all of their close friends had left the company some years previously. They also felt that they weren’t valued by our boss, particularly as they weren’t given the promotion they thought they deserved.

My colleague’s mood deteriorated over several months, until finally (after going on sick leave for a month) they resigned.

I stayed in contact with them though and, thankfully, their mental health improved. I think they’re in a much more stable and happier state of mind today.

So all good, no?

Yes. Undoubtedly. I’m happy they made it through to a better place, both physically and mentally.

But it’s a period of my life that often troubles me – because the action did I not take, but wish I had, was to be kinder.

As far as I and my other co-workers were concerned, my troubled colleague was on a very good wage, wasn’t being micro-managed, and had a lot of free-time during the workday to do whatever they liked. What were they complaining about?

We become exasperated by their behaviour and attitude, and started rolling our eyes at their complaints (and even mocked them behind their back).

I did at the time feel guilty about our behaviour. I had nothing against my colleague personally. In fact, we got on quite well and they’d always been friendly towards me. But I allowed myself to follow the nasty ‘pack mentality’ of being critical of someone who was behaving ‘against the norm’, instead of offering a friendly face for them to talk to.

I’m not proud of my behaviour at all…especially as I recently experienced some of the same painful emotions of isolation and disillusionment about my workplace too.

I didn’t descend as low as my colleague did (thank god). My circumstances were different. But whenever someone mentions our old colleague these days (and in a disparaging way), I immediately change the subject.

It’s not funny anymore.

It never was actually.

Only I didn’t realise it until one day I found myself walking in their shoes, and would have just appreciated a little kindness myself.